his month's edition may as well be called the Nude 'n Prude issue. We start in Jamaica, where the outlandish Hedonism III Resort in Runaway Bay scheduled a Valentine's Day promotion around the concept of nude weddings. As word got out about the plan, there was an outcry. Tourism Minister Portia Simpson Miller was quoted in The Gleaner: "This type of activity is not in keeping with our marketing strategy." A dozen pastors linked to the Caribbean-American Clergy Coalition protested in front of the Jamaica Tourism Board's New York office. But the event went on as planned and 11 couples were married at the resort on February 14, wearing little more than top hats, veils and body paint. The minister, from the non-denominational Universal Life Church, performed the ceremony in shorts and a tropical-print shirt; many in the crowd of 200 guests wore birthday suits.

n the other hand, the Cayman Islands won't let their anti-gay bias rest. We told you last month how Great Britain had forced its five Caribbean territories to decriminalize homosexuality, but church leaders in Cayman have initiated a petition drive to protest the order. We don't think this will get very far - after all, Great Britain was well aware of the island's stance when it overturned the Cayman law in December. But it does help reaffirm that, despite what the government's tourism representatives say in public, the Cayman Islands are not interested in welcoming gay and lesbian visitors to their destination. Just visitors carrying satchels of cash that might need a quick rinse.

e haven't spoken about Haiti for a while, yet there have been important developments for the country during the last few months. The catalyst for these events is, of course, the landslide election of former priest Jean-Bertrand Aristide to the Presidency. As you may recall, Aristide was originally elected in 1990, but was chased from the island by a military coup, leading to the U.S.-led invasion in 1994. Aristide was returned to power, but the U.S. had one condition: that he not seek re-election in 1995 when his five-year term was up (Haiti's constitution also prohibited him from serving consecutive terms). Rene Preval was elected President in 1996, but many Haitians suspected that Aristide was well positioned behind the scenes - subsequently there was nothing to prevent him from pursuing the Presidency when Preval's term was up. Aristide's re-election was a virtual certainty - he is enthusiastically supported by the country's vast lower class, who continue to face increasingly vast unemployment and malnutrition. Less expected was that Haiti's parliamentary elections would be fraught with irregularities - Aristide's party won a suspect majority of seats, but questions about the vote are widespread. These and other issues have cast a cloud over Aristide's legitimacy in the international community.

The result: The U.S. military pulled out its peacekeeping presence in Haiti, and last month, the U.N. mission was terminated. Aristide, in fact, discouraged the U.N. from staying, stating that he did not want to burden the new government with old baggage. Some see the country as quietly moving toward closing its borders to outsiders. In light of the developments, Haiti is probably not the best place for a vacation - in fact, the U.S. State Department has issued a Travel Advisory for the country, warning U.S. citizens of possible danger.

olitics creeps into our news in other ways this month. In Cuba, the American government maintains a "U.S. Cuban Interests Section," which performs most of the functions of a regular embassy. State Department envoys live in Havana and participate in many of the island's social activities. But you can knock dog shows off the list of permissible get-togethers. It seems that Vicki Huddleston, head of the Cuban Interests Section, has an Afghan Hound named Havana, and this dog won a recent competition on the island. This victory was followed by a letter from Amalia Castro, president of the National Association of Afghan Hounds, who wrote to Huddleston: "The government you represent has maintained a policy of hostility against our people and government." The letter went on to say that, by hosting dissidents at the U.S. residence, her behavior was incompatible with the morals of the club. Solution: Huddleston was booted from the club. While this dog-eat-dog scenario is funny enough as it is, we couldn't help but howl when we found out that Amalia Castro's pup lost out to Havana in the competition. If you can't beat 'em, call their dog a political adversary.

Ry Cooder went to Cuba to collaborate famously with the Buena Vista Social Club in 1996, winning a Grammy Award in the process. He was later fined $25,000 by the U.S. Treasury Department for traveling to the island without the proper authorization. He's headed back to Cuba for further recordings with the group, but this time, a last-minute intervention by former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and former national security advisor Sandy Berger stepped in on his behalf. Cooder. We look forward to the follow-up to this great album (and the terrific movie about these recordings is out on video, if you haven't caught it already).

Three cheers to former President Clinton, who in one of his last, less controversial acts, designated more than 12,000 acres of coral reefs surrounding St. John and Buck Island as part of the US Virgin Islands National Monument. We say "less controversial" because, alas, there were a few protests lodged by some island leaders who say that the move will hurt local fishermen. The islands' Congressional delegate, Donna Christian-Christianson says she will lobby President Bush to overturn the designation. On our recent USVI trip, we also explored St. Croix. This is an island that is less developed for tourists than St. Thomas.

estivals of note: on Barbados holds its annual Holder's Opera Season March 13-30. Founded in 1993, the event is region's leading classical music festival, with a series of combines musical and theatrical performances and held at Holder's Hill (one past performer was Pavarotti). Also coming to Barbados is the Oistins Fish Festival, April 14-16 - a series of fishing, boat racing and deboning competitions. If you missed Carnival in February - when it's supposed to be held! - a few islands conduct their celebration in late Spring and Summer. St. Maarten holds its 32nd annual Carnival April 15-May 3; it features talent shows, reggae and calypso competitions, and jump-ups - the event culminates with a Grand Carnival Parade replete with floats, live bands and dance troupes from around the region (the Queen's birthday - April 30 - is another reason for Dutch-side partying).

See you in April!